


if you need me, i'll be right there

by ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Pre-Relationship, The Force, Time Travel, and slightly canon? not sure, basically it's all about poe's backstory, i dont know how the force works, im really terrible at summaries, leads up to the force awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls/pseuds/ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls
Summary: On the fifth Benduday after his mother’s death - he’s gotten good at counting the days, how many days have passed without her - Poe sits at the base of the tree, just letting the pain and grief wash over him and praying to the Force to see his mother.Instead he gets someone else.---Poe gains a new friend who somehow always manages to appear when he needs her the most.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

Poe Dameron is eight years old when he meets her. He’s sad and lonely when they first meet, only just losing his mother to an unknown illness only a month before. (He hears whispers late at night about what Shara Bey succumbed to as he tosses and turns in his bed from his father and his abuelo, whispers about how his father could’ve saved his mother when he had the chance and his abuelo telling him he did the best that he could)

He spends most of his days alone, not bothering to play with the other children that his abuelo suggests on playing. Poe doesn’t see the point of hanging out with the other children on Yavin 4; just seeing them is a harsh reminder that they still have mothers they can run home to while he doesn’t have one. He’s all alone now. So all he does is just sits around at home, diligently doing his schoolwork on his data pad and does whatever his father asks of him with no complaint, and when he does not spend his days indoors, he’s outside sitting at the base of the Force tree that’s planted in their backyard. A part of him hopes that his mother’s Force ghost would appear to him if he sits long enough with the Force tree; all he wants to do is just see her face again. Holos don’t do her justice and they don’t capture the loving, calming feeling that she once projected.

And on the fifth Benduday after his mother’s death - he’s gotten good at counting the days, how many days have passed without her - Poe sits at the base of the tree, just letting the pain and grief wash over him and praying to the Force to see his mother.

Instead he gets someone else.

When she first appears, her back is turned to him and for a moment Poe believes that the Force finally granted him his wish. But then he realizes her form is all wrong, body lithe and slender, and that his mother never wore her thick, curly hair in three identical buns tied tightly together. He wonders who this person is; all Poe can see is that her clothing is pure white tunic spilling in loose waves around her frame, and a belt that wraps around her thin waist.

The woman then turns arounds and Poe knows at the age of eight that the woman is beautiful - all women are beautiful, he remembers his father telling him - but this one Poe knows is something special. He doesn’t know how exactly but he can feel it.

Her eyes take him in, eyes wide in surprise, before regarding him softly with a hint of something he can’t place.

“Hello,” she speaks and Poe notes the accent that laces her voice. It’s not like any accent that Poe can recognize and he wonders where this woman has come from.

“Hi.” His voice cracks as he responds and it takes him a moment to remember that he hadn’t drinken any water since he did his schoolwork, which was hours ago. “Who are you?”

The woman takes a moment to reply, eyes deep in concentration with what to say. “Someone who loves you,” she tells him softly.

Poe frowns. Someone who loves him isn’t a name. Plus it’s too long to say. And so he tells her that.

It makes the lady chuckle. “I’ve heard that before. Someone clever used that on me.”

That still doesn’t answer his question and he frowns once more. “Why are you here?” he demands and for the first time in his young life, he doesn’t care that he’s being defiant to an older person. His mother always told him to show respect to his elders and obviously this woman is older than him judging by her height, but Poe doesn’t care. He wants to know why she’s appeared to him and not his mother, the one who he knows really truly loves him. How could this woman love him if he had never met her before today?

She doesn’t look at him angrily at his outburst; instead it seems like she is expecting him to act this way. It’s like she knows that he wants his mother and not her, this stranger. “The Force brought me here, Poe,” she answers, crouching down to sit down right in front of him. They’re at eye-level now and Poe feels less like she’s trying to be someone older than him, instead treating him like someone who wants to tell him everything unlike his father and abuelo who keep hiding things from him. “I can’t control where I go or when I come.”

These words don’t make sense to him and the woman doesn’t bother to try to make it clear to him. She continues on, “I know you wanted your mother, Poe. But know that even though you can’t see her, she’s here with you, surrounding you in the Force and looking over you in the Force tree.” The woman pauses, looking over his shoulder, and he turns as well to see what she’s looking at. Poe sees nothing and turns back to see the woman’s eyes filled with unshed tears as she talks slowly. “She wants me to tell you that she loves you and she always will. Don’t stop living your life because she’s not here; there’s so much more to you Poe Dameron and she doesn’t want to see you waste that away.”

Poe’s eyes widened at the woman’s words, his heart seizing at the familiarity and the firmness that always laced the words that his mother would say to him. He turns his head around, hoping that his mother would be there, tears freely running down his cheeks. “Mama?” he asks.

Poe’s met with nothing, just the leaves and brightness of the Force tree in his eyesight.

And when he turns around to ask the woman if his mother is there, she’s gone.

He rubs his eyes, forcing away the tears. Maybe it was a dream but he knows now that maybe he’s not alone as he thought he was, making him feel a little lighter than he had in awhile.


	2. Chapter 2

Turns out seeing that woman was not a dream and she’s very, very real. 

He sees her throughout the next three years as he grows up and she always shows up to him whenever he needs her. If he needs a friend to talk to (they were friends, she confirmed, as odd as their friendship was), she’ll talk to him about nothing in particular - he learns things about her, that she came from Jakku, a scavenger who had to fight to eat, and he shares with her his hopes and dreams and how he wants to fly high in the sky like his mother did, not bounded to the ground like his father is. If he’s in deep trouble with his father, she’ll be the one to scold him for upsetting Kes and tell him to apologize. If he needs help figuring out how to make his father happy, she’ll gladly give him advice on what could work. She very much does not agree with trying to run away to get credits for the farm, always telling him how much his father loves him and values him over the credits that they needed in order to live. 

Poe really likes hanging out with her; she treats him like they’re the same age, like his experiences and his wants are exactly what a person her age experiences. 

The woman always looks a little different every time he sees her and it always looks like she’s a different age when she appears, sometimes younger, sometimes older. He’s seen her in three buns, braids wrapped around like a crown on her head, a single braid slung over her shoulder, and hair short in a bob that accentuates the sharpness of her cheeks. The woman never looks the same but Poe never thinks much of it. She’s still the same to him. Adults always seem the same. 

And he never gets her name either. He’s tried asking her and she still responds with ‘someone who loves you,’ which only annoys him quite a little, not a lot, because of how much she means to him- she’s the only person he can confide to - but it still irks him that he doesn’t know her name and he tells her that on a sunny, humid day on Yavin 4. 

“What?” she laughs, her voice light and breezy and her hair up in her signature three buns. “Why is that not enough for you?” 

Poe shrugs as any awkward eleven year old would do. “It’s weird not knowing your name. Like how do I refer to you when I’m talking to you? I can’t just call you ‘person’.” 

The woman looks at him amused. “What would you want to call me?” 

He shrugs once more. “I don’t know? Sunshine?” 

Even though he says it really casually, he can tell that this surprises her. The amused smile is gone from her face. “Why’s that?” she whispers to him. 

“I don’t know, you remind me of sunshine that’s all,” he says easily, not understanding why she cares so much about this. Adults were weird like that. 

By the time Poe looks back up at her, she’s smiling again but there’s tears in her eyes. “You can call me whatever you want, Poe.” 

“Okay, Sunshine,” he answers back and she gives him another smile, full of teeth, before she vanishes into thin air. 

It’s like that, her suddenly just disappearing and appearing with no warning. He wasn’t used to that the first couple of times, but he’s grown more used to it the more she visits. 

Poe just wishes that he could say goodbye to her though. 

_____

At age fifteen, Poe runs away to be a spice runner despite Sunshine’s voice of protest when he was younger. He only does it for the credits that his father so desperately needs to run the farm and Poe can’t lose the home that means so much to both him and his father. It is the place that his father built for his mother, an act of his love for her. It has the Force tree, the place of comfort for him and it’s where he met Sunshine for the first time. (He tries not to think of Sunshine before he goes to sleep on the cold bunks in the ships he’s stolen or when he touches himself when he’s alone; the way her eyes sparkle as she laughs and how bright her smile is when she’s really truly happy. Poe fails miserably every single time. He has to do everything in his power to make sure that they keep the farm and spice is the only way to make enough credits to do that. 

He does this for a few months, flying from planet to planet with the smuggled goods stashed away on the ships he’s piloting - it’s his first time truly visiting planets and he relishes the fact that he gets to finally see what the galaxy looks like instead of seeing holovids from the safety of Yavin 4 - and he desperately tries not to think of how disappointed his father would be. Poe knows that his father cares more about his safety and his well being over how many credits they have but it’s unspoken how sad Kes would be over the loss of the farm. He figures it’s better to disappoint his father now than rather have his father sad for the rest of his life. 

But the guilt is still there, threatening to overcome him every night as he falls asleep. 

Sunshine hasn’t appeared to him in those few months and it’s the longest he’s been without seeing her. In the past, she’d go maybe not show up for a week or two but never a few months. A part of him misses her but the other part is glad, grateful even, that she isn’t here to see what he’s become. Poe doesn’t think he can have another individual person who’s important disappointed in him. 

She ends up appearing a week after that and she looks the same as she did when he first met her. White clothes, three buns, belt wrapping around her. And just like he predicted, she’s disappointed when she takes in the environment they’re in. Even worse, Poe thinks she looks sad. 

“Poe,” she starts and he feels like crumpling over in shame. 

“Please don’t say anything more,” he begs. “I- I did what I had to.” 

Sunshine sighs. “I know.” She doesn’t say anything else and Poe thinks that’s even worse than her admonishing him for his choices. To his complete and utter embarrassment, he starts to cry. It’s the first time he’s cried since he’s left home and the first time he’s ever cried in front of her. With sobs wracking his body, he starts to crumple the floor and before he can completely crash to the ground, strong but firm arms catch him and envelops his sad form. 

She pulls his body towards him, his forehead falling on the crook of her neck as he cries and cries. Sunshine doesn’t say anything, just running her hands up and down his back in a comforting motion, sometimes smoothing out his curly hair. It does help him a bit, grounding him after he gets too lost in his thoughts about Kes and just how angry his father would be with him and how much he misses him. 

Once he finally stops crying - he’s gotten snot all over her pure white clothes - he looks up at her with eyes red and puffy. “I’m so sorry Sunshine. I’m so, so sorry-“ 

Sunshine pushes a stray curl away from his forehead. “You shouldn’t apologize to me, Poe.” 

He already knows what she means and he feels his insides rolling in fear. “I know. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Go home, Poe,” she tells him softly. “Go see your father.” 

Poe shakes his head. “I can’t. He’s going to be so mad at me.” There’s other words that he wants to say but he doesn’t know how to say it without crying.  _ I don’t want to go back home to see the disappointment on his face, _ is what he wants to say and somehow Sunshine understands that. 

“He misses you and he’s worried sick about you. Disappointed is the last thing on his mind.” 

He nods his head, not really wanting to convey that he believes her when in truth he trusts her with all his heart, and she continues on. “Sometimes the hardest things we must do are the ones we have to do.” 

“How do you do it?” Poe asks her, his voice trying so hard not to crack because he wants to cry again. 

“It takes bravery. You’re one of-“ she stops herself before she speaks once more and Poe’s curious to what she had to say about him. He doesn’t get to find out because she completely changes what she’s going to say. “I know you can find the courage to be brave.” 

Sunshine’s leaning in all of a sudden and she kisses him on the cheek, like a blessing, and Poe swears that she can see the flush spreading across his cheeks once she pulls away and that he can still feel the way her lips felt against his skin. 

Just like that she’s gone, leaving Poe alone with his thoughts and the intense choice he’s about to make. He already knows what he has to do, thanks to Sunshine making it clear to him. He has to break off the deal with Zorii (but the question of whether or not he should take the money or not is another story) and right after that, he has to fly home to his father, the man who loves him the most in the world right now. 

Even though he’s planning out everything, a part of him still is replaying the kiss that Sunshine gave to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to GothamOracle87 for editing! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Muran's death, Poe has to deal with the loss of his lover and ponders upon his future with the Resistance. Sunshine shows up again and Poe learns some interesting things about her.

At age twenty-five, Poe loses Antony Muran in an unfair dogfight. He continually is replaying the way that his lover screamed into the headset in terror before loud static followed days after his death. He remembers screaming for him, yelling at him to wait because he was coming for him, coming to cover his tail and then the terrible explosion and scream happened before he could even reach him- 

It wasn’t fair. 

Ever since Muran’s death, Poe has stayed calm through it all, keeping a face of indifference even though he’s dying on the inside, crying out for someone. Everyone pretends he died fairly and Poe is constantly replaying the way that his lover screamed into the headset in terror before the loud static came on through his helmet. No one else in the squadron would understand his loss, plus no one even knew that he and Muran were a thing. 

Why did Poe have to lose all the people he loved? 

His mother, his abuelo, Muran…

Maybe he’s cursed to lose the people he loves. 

He doesn’t count Sunshine because he hasn’t really lost her, but at the same time he hasn’t seen her either. It’s more like she’s lost to him. It has been awhile since he had seen her, a year ago almost to this day - he hasn’t lost that habit of counting the days since he has lost people (With Muran it has been 35 days since he last kissed him on the lips, heard his sweet, smooth voice. He doesn’t think that’s ever going to leave him) - and right now, at his lowest, he desperately wants her to show up. He’s been praying to the Force to bring her back, to let her warm, gentle voice soothe his tortured, anguished soul because it’s crying out for a man who’s forever lost to the stars. 

Poe feels like he needs her, more than ever now, especially since he’s leaving the New Republic for the Resistance. That terrifies him at the thought of leaving what he’s familiar with and moving into something new, but at least he knows that joining the Resistance will make his mother proud. Leia has told him this a million times since he agreed to join her cause (and a part of him is happy that Leia is there because Leia is someone he knows, a almost a second mother). 

He just wants to see a familiar face, one that’ll be able to tell him that no, that it wasn’t right that Muran died, that he’s making the right choice about leaving for the Resistance and that he has every right to grieve for the man he could have fallen in love with. No, the more he thinks about it, Poe just wants the chance to cry for Muran. He doesn’t want to keep up the act that his death didn’t matter. Poe wishes that the Force would listen to him, but the Force doesn’t work that way. 

The night before he’s scheduled to fly to the top secret Resistance base hidden on Scarif, the Force finally decides to grant his wish. When he comes back to the bunk to make sure he has the last of his belongings, she’s sitting on his bed patiently, her form rigid like she’s hesitant about sitting there. 

His eyes widen in surprise at the sight of her on his bunk and he drops the items that he’s holding in his hands. “Sunshine,” he utters, completely taken by surprise. 

“Poe,” she says back, tucking in a stray hair. She’s nervous, a first in all the time he’s known her.

He starts tearing up then and he cries for the first time ever since Muran died. His form crumples to the ground, clutching the ring - now his heart - that his father gifted to him before he joined the NRDF and he cries uncontrollably. Sunshine isn’t there to catch him as he falls to the ground; instead she tentatively walks over to him, lightly putting a hand on his shoulder in a comforting motion. Poe grabs her hand without thinking, clutching her like a lifeline since her touch is the first form of comfort he has gotten since Muran’s death. He sobs and sobs, and Rey gets down, slowly pulling his body to hers and she runs her hands through his hair, presses her face into his curly locks, whispering softly ‘ _ Lo siento’ _ and  _ ‘Yo sé’  _ repeatedly. Her voice calms him, the tears eventually stop and she lulls him to sleep even though he knows he still has things to do. 

His eyes are drooping now, eyelids slowly blinking as he tries to focus on the sensation of her lips murmuring against his hair. “Don’t leave me,” he mutters as his heavy eyes decide to shut then. 

Poe thinks he faintly hears her say before he loses consciousness, “No lo haré mi amor.” 

When Poe wakes, he finds himself in his bunk, a warm body pressed to his and face tucked in his neck. For a sudden moment, Poe questions how he got there and then he thinks that it’s Muran in his arms once more and that his death was just a cruel dream he imagined. But he looks down, seeing three familiar buns tied up and he realizes, it’s not Muran but Sunshine.

She stayed for the first time, looking comfortable as she’s nestled in his arms. 

He begins to cry again and his crying unfortunately wakes Sunshine. She stirs, eyes blinking slowly as she tries to adjust to her surroundings and frowns once her eyes adjust on him, noticing the tears streaming down his face. Her eyes are soft as she looks at him with concern, moving her hand towards his face to wipe away the tears. Her fingers make contact with his skin, lightly pressing to push away the tears that are shedding and Poe can barely feel her even touching him. (It’s strange he thinks then but he’s so consumed by his grief, by the fact that someone still wants to touch him even though he’s a magnet for people dying, and by the fact that  _ she _ stayed for the first time) 

“What’s wrong?” she whispers.

“Everyone leaves me,” he sniffles. 

Sunshine frowns once more and pulls him towards her, pressing his face into the crook of her neck and immediately Poe is reminded of that moment when Sunshine discovered he became a spice runner and how he broke down crying. She was soft with him then, despite her clear disapproval of what he had chosen to do, and she is soft with him now, running her hands down his back in a soothing motion. 

“Nobody ever wants to leave,” she tells him as she holds him close. “But we don’t get that choice.” 

“I could’ve,” he mutters, close enough so that his lips brush against her skin. Poe’s pretty sure she shivers against his lips almost making contact despite his breakdown. “I could’ve saved Muran, if only I was fast enough to get to him, if only I thought about-“ 

“Shhh,” Sunshine interrupts him before he can spiral downwards even further into self-shame. She speaks slowly, carefully choosing her words as she tries to calm him down. “You tried. You tried to save Muran but there was nothing else you could do.”

“I should’ve known sooner that the New Republic was hiding things. The way they kept saying that things were okay, that those  _ bastards _ weren’t pirates-“ 

Sunshine runs her hands through his hair. “You wouldn’t have known.” 

He sighs brokenly and he knows she’s right. Poe’s trying to blame himself for Muran’s death.

“A wise person told me that you can miss a person all you want but you can’t let that grief consume you. They’re gone yes, physically, but they’re one with the Force, surrounding you. They’re never really gone, especially if you keep them in your heart. But it will take time for you to get over them being with you. You can be sad, but be sad for only five minutes. Grieve them as much as you want in those five minutes and then live. They wouldn’t want you to live your life just being sad over them.” 

Sunshine flushes as if she’s not used to speaking for so long. The redness spreads across her cheeks, underneath the freckles that line her skin and Poe wonders how he’s never noticed how many freckles she has. 

“They sound wise,” he mutters and he knows Sunshine is right. Muran’s not really gone, he thinks. He lives inside of his heart now, never going to leave. Poe refuses to let Muran go. 

“He was one of the bravest heroes that ever lived,” Sunshine says. He doesn’t miss the admiration that laces her voice. “He taught me everything that I needed to know.” 

“Who was he?” Poe asks curious. 

“Luke Skywalker.” 

“Luke?” Leia’s twin Luke? Luke was…..he wasn’t sure what the legendary Jedi was up to. The last time he heard, he was teaching Leia’s son Ben to be a Jedi. But he didn’t miss the way that Sunshine spoke of him in the past tense. And that bothers him oddly more than the fact that she had Luke as a Master (He knew that Sunshine was a Jedi, never missing the way that she had a lightsaber hilt strapped to her belt and how at peace she seemed whenever she showed up to him. Only Jedi seemed to radiate peace and calmness and he always felt that around her). “Why’d you speak of him in the past tense? He’s still alive.” 

He feels Sunshine freeze against him. “Sunshine?” he asks her, moving his face away from her body to look at her. She doesn’t respond and she averts her eyes from his; with that alone, Poe knows that she’s been hiding things from him in all the years that he’s known her. 

Then suddenly Poe thinks about how she’s never looked the same. Sometimes she’d look so sad, so empty, a haunted look in her that makes her look so much older, and sometimes Sunshine looks so radiant, full of joy that it makes it hard to look at her sometimes without seeming like he was staring at her. And her age… She’s never specified to him how old she is, always brushing off the statement and turning the conversation back to him. 

Does that mean…

“Sunshine,” he starts, unsure of how to continue. “What year are you from?” 

There’s a pregnant, awkward pause between the two of them and Poe gets his answer from the silence alone. It all makes sense and then Sunshine decides to answer then. “I’m from the future.” 

He doesn’t know what to say then, his brain still trying to process everything. “How?” he ends up asking. 

She shakes her head and shrugs against him. “I don’t know. The Force brings me here.” He vividly remembers the first time that they had met. She had said something along the same lines back then. “Whatever the Force wills, I give in to it.” 

“How’d you stay this time? You always disappear soon.” 

Her eyes are soft as she stares into his before shifting her focus to the chain that is wrapped around his neck. “Maybe I asked to stay.” 

“Do you travel to other parts of time too?” Poe asks once more, his interest piqued at the idea of her time traveling. 

“Yes,” she nods. 

He continues on, suddenly excited. “What have you seen?” Maybe she’s seen the time when the Jedi were at their peak. Or maybe she was there when the Rebellion were on Yavin 4. Maybe she’s seen his mother and father fighting for the galaxy they loved. 

Somehow she just knows that he’s questioning if she’s seen important events happening and she quickly rebukes it. Well she is a Jedi, maybe she can mind read? “You’re projecting so loudly into the Force, Poe,” Sunshine tells him with a smile. “But no, I haven’t seen that. I-“ 

“You what?” 

“I only travel to a person, never a place or a certain time in history,” she admits shyly and she begins to play with the lapels of his shirt, fingers brushing lightly over his skin. Poe doesn’t understand why she’s doing it - not that he doesn’t enjoy it - and he frowns. Sunshine senses his confusion and she pulls her nimble fingers away from him. “I only travel to you.”

He swears his heart starts to beat loudly then, so loud that his heart wants to burst out of his body. “Me?” he stammers out, suddenly nervous for the first time in front of her. 

“You,” she confirms looking at him straight in the eyes, suddenly confident. “Only you.” 

“How?” 

She looks back down at his chest. “I think the two of us are tied together somehow. I don’t know how but that’s why… Tthat’s why I find myself traveling to you.” 

Poe finds his face heating up from her confession and heart beating more rapidly than before. They’re tied together…. Somehow his soul is tied to hers - a thought that makes his heart soar knowing that he’s linked to someone so extraordinary, so wise - and he wonders how their connection came to be. He doesn’t know if it’s romantic or if they’re just meant to be platonic, but he really doesn’t care. Poe slips his hand through hers and he feels the callouses, ones that feel oh so familiar to his own. He doesn’t feel the urge to kiss her, not like when he was fifteen and especially because he’s still grieving over Muran, but he wants to just savor this moment between the two of them. Poe lightly rubs his thumb over her hand, enjoying the way that her hand feels in his, soft yet palms of her hands are calloused. Sunshine smiles at him, her eyes twinkling in the dark lighting of his bunk and Poe wants to keep this image of her forever seared in his mind. 

Her face scrunches up then, in obvious discontent, and she tells him, breaking the little spell that was casted over them, “I don’t have much more time, Poe.” 

His heart falls at the mention of her leaving. Poe knows that he can’t keep her here forever, but it’s like another reminder that he loses the people he loves. Sunshine smiles sadly at him, “I‘ll see you again soon, Poe.” 

“When will that be?”

She shakes her head, refusing to answer. “Soon.”

Somehow he has feeling that it isn’t going to be any time after he joins the Resistance, the time he needs her most.

As if she knows that he’s scared about joining the Resistance - well since she is from the future, she probably does know what he has done - she speaks, her voice soft, “Fight for the people you love, all the ones you lost and the ones you have yet to meet. That’s what makes you one of the best men I have ever met, Poe.” 

Sunshine brings her hand up to his cheek, caressing it softly before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. Her lips are soft, but dry against his skin and she moves away to smile kindly at him. “May the Force be with you, Poe.” 

“See you around, Sunshine,” Poe answers, his heart thudding against his chest. 

He knows what happens next, too accustomed to her disappearing on him. Poe doesn’t blink, not wanting to miss seeing her face and he watches as her form slowly fades out of view, and then into nothingness. 

Poe can’t help but feel that this feels like a goodbye even though he knows it won’t be the last time he sees her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> many thanks again to GothamOracle87!


	4. Chapter 4

A week passes, then a month or two. Before he knows it six years pass and he’s risen in the ranks of the Resistance, confident in what he can do, losing all doubts he had about joining the Resistance the moment they put him into Black One. Poe hears from everyone that he’s referred to as Leia’s right hand man, the next one in line to get the promotion of General. He can’t deny the thrill he hears about him being promoted and he’s brimming with happiness at the idea of it, being next to Leia and leading a cause that he’s grown so passionate about. 

Then one of the biggest missions of his life happens - he’s being sent to get a piece of a map that will lead to the legendary Luke Skywalker - and he finds himself in his X-wing on the way to Jakku, his trusty, lovable droid BB-8 strapped to the back of it. 

He’s thrumming with a nervous energy as he’s on course to Jakku. This is an important mission, one that will change the whole entire trajectory of the war and one that will give them the upper hand in this fight. (Not saying that they weren’t winning but it was really hard to tell at this point) Poe has to make sure that he succeeds in his mission and bring back the legendary Jedi back to his sister and the fight. 

He knows that somehow in a couple of years the Jedi Master will die, he’s not sure when or how but that knowledge is tucked away in his brain, lurking with the memories of Sunshine. 

Poe has thought of her constantly since the last time he’s seen her, waiting for her to return, and even more frequently now that he’s on course to find the piece of the map. He hasn’t forgotten that Jakku is the planet she’s from and a part of him hopes that maybe with him being on Jakku, he’ll find her instead of it being the other way around. But the other part of him rationalizes that maybe it’s better to not go looking for her. She’s safer if he doesn’t; in the case that he’s being followed, he doesn’t want to lead them to her and endanger one of the last Jedi out there. (But she’s a Jedi, she can fight people with her deadly lightsaber, not that he’s ever seen her use it) 

Then as soon as he lands there and finds Leia’s informant, Lor San Tekka, the mission goes awry and he finds himself captured by the First Order, in the hands of Leia’s son Ben - wait no Kylo Ren - and his men, and BB-8 lost in the sandy, desert plains of Jakku. Poe somehow manages to get out with the help of FN-2187, a handsome stormtrooper whom he names Finn, and he knows as they’re out of there he has to find BB-8. He has to make sure his mission is a success, even if it means his death. 

But that never happens as he and Finn crash land the TIE fighter that they stole on Jakku and they’re separated, leaving Poe with no way to find his new friend and his droid. He gets picked up soon by Snap and finds himself back on the Resistance base on D’Qar, ready to be shipped out on another mission. That’s something he’s used to by now, the constant need to always be somewhere in his X-wing. And after that battle, a tough one that they end up winning, he finds Finn - he’s so relieved knowing that the former stormtrooper is alive - and all Finn and BB-8 can talk about is finding this person named Rey.

Even once they destroy Starkiller Base, the only name he hears is Rey. Poe keeps hearing of this mysterious person and he knows that whoever this person is they’re on the base but he doesn’t catch a glimpse of their face even once because the next moment he hears that they’re going to find Luke Skywalker, under direct orders from Leia. 

The name…..it sounds familiar, making his heart beat a little faster like it wants to pop out of his chest. Poe doesn’t know why it’s like this considering that he’s never met this person before but he doesn’t have the time to really sit down and think about it. The only logical explanation that he can think of is that he’s jealous of all the attention that this person is getting from everyone but really he knows that that isn’t it. It’s something else entirely. 

The next few hours are chaotic but still filled with the girl’s name (he learns that Rey is a girl the minute the Falcon takes off and Leia tells him this, a fond, determined smile on her face before heading back inside). He manages to get a good majority of the Resistance killed - a guilt consumes him the moment he lands on the Resistance cruiser and he knows that’s never going to leave him - and sends Finn and Rose on a suicide mission following Holdo taking over for Leia. And he even throws a mutiny too, which fails. 

Still even so, every moment in between that is Rey. He has to make sure that Rey is safe, make sure that she and Chewbacca find them, make sure that she’s protected despite the attacks that the Resistance is taking from the First Order. Poe doesn’t know why but underneath all the guilt and anxiety he’s been feeling, he feels an unexplainable pull towards this person he’s never met. 

And then when all hope is lost and Luke Skywalker gone, Rey appears, lifting the rocks that were going to trap them on Crait forever. 

When the rocks lift out of his view, bright sunlight coming into his vision, he runs out, only to see her standing there, hand outstretched and looking so radiant. And when he catches a glimpse of her face, his heart stops. 

It’s Sunshine. Rey is Sunshine. 

Now he understands why he felt a pull towards her despite never meeting her. She looks so much more beautiful than he remembers, smile bright and eyes youthful with a hardness begins it, a nod towards her scavenging days on Jakku. But it doesn’t look like she even remembers him as she’s only beaming brightly at Finn once his friend comes into view. However, Poe has a feeling that maybe the Rey he has met is not the one that is standing in front of them all. (It still hurts his heart a lot though that she makes no face of recognition at him) 

When they’re all on the Falcon, safe from the harm of the First Order (their numbers are small, too small to Poe’s liking and he knows that it’s all his fault that they’re like this), he finally finds the courage to introduce himself to her when he sees her with his droid. 

His heart is pounding loudly as he approaches her. “Hi,” he says softly and she looks up from her crouched position. 

“Hi,” she responds back, standing to her full height and Poe notices that they’re almost the same height. 

“I’m Poe.” He feels awkward and shy around her, despite knowing her for years, and he sticks his hand out to her for a handshake. 

Rey takes a look down at his hand before tentatively taking it and Poe can feel how soft her hand is despite the callouses lining the palm of her hand. She smiles as she looks back at him and Poe’s stomach erupts into butterflies as he internally cheers at her smiling at him. “Rey.” 

“I know,” he tells her earnestly, which makes her smile grow even bigger. 

And he hopes from here, that he’ll get to know her better than before.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much to GothamOracle87 for reading and editing some bits!


End file.
